“don’t ever be afraid to shine.
the sun doesn’t give a fuck
if it blinds you.”🔆
~ Word Porn
I did my undergraduate studies at Regents College in London, and in 2000 graduated with a B.A in Psychology. For as long as I can remember I’ve been fascinated with human behavior, how our experiences mold us into who we are today, dictate the choices that we make and the relationships we choose. I absolutely loved studying both psychology and sociology in college, but like most graduates, I was still uncertain about what I really wanted to do. What I did know for sure, albeit vague, was also definitive; I wanted to help people, to really make a difference.
I thought being a drug and alcohol counselor might be a good fit so I started by working at a methadone clinic. I was just in charge of the office, but it was a great place to observe; not only the patients, but the inner workings of a clinic and the politics of the profession. Subsequently, I found that it wasn’t the right fit for me … or maybe, I wasn’t the right fit for it. Like a lot of western medicine, it seemed that what the clinic was offering was more of a band aid approach than true help. Still unsure but needing work, I took a job as an assistant at a law firm which specialized in collections … it was terrible, soul stealing work, BUT it proved useful because it motivated me to figure out what I was passionate about. After working at the law office for more than four years and taking Bikram Yoga classes religiously for two; I enrolled in the teacher training program. Nine weeks in Los Angeles was a logistical nightmare and certainly wasn’t something to be taken lightly, but I knew I had to go. I believe that moment, when I made the decision to go, is the moment I had truly arrived on the path that has taken me to where I am now.
To this day, I believe that yoga is the greatest gift I’ve been given. It has remained the most constant thing in my life through the last fifteen years, and is directly or indirectly, the reason for every good thing that has come into it since. One of the very best things it has given me is the ability to listen to my heart, and to believe in myself enough to have the courage to seek out my true purpose. In the deepest part of my soul, I knew something was missing. I think that through both my yoga practice and years teaching, I learned how to quiet the background noise of life, which can be deafening at times, and listen to my heart. I stopped trying to “figure it out” and allowed my intuition to guide me. A regular yoga practice has an incredible way of making you present in your life and acutely aware that everything is a choice. Suddenly it was my priority, an absolute necessity to find my joy, that thing that makes you smile from the inside. Sometime in early 2006 I had acupuncture for the first time and was amazed at the results. Something clicked; I’d found the next piece of my puzzle.
Several months later I was driving to New Mexico to begin graduate school – it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It brought true meaning to idea that nothing worth having comes easily. But, as difficult as it was, I never wavered in my desire or belief that it was exactly where I was supposed to be. In 2009, after more than 3,000 hours of school and countless more of studying and working in the school clinic; I received my Masters of Science in Oriental Medicine from Southwest Acupuncture College.
After years in the desert, the ocean was calling me home. In 2011 almost exactly five years after I’d left, I drove back to Maine to begin the next chapter of my journey. I remember trying to imagine where my office would be, and what it would look like, but I can honestly say that my imagination was never as good as reality. I am in love with the space I have created, it’s cozy and colorful and welcoming; to me, it’s everything.
But it’s the intangible quality, the energy of the space, that makes me know, just like I have so many times before throughout this journey; it’s exactly where I’m supposed to be.